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Facing Cancer in Faith

My Experience of Cancer
Address by John Coultas

For some it is a lump where there should not be a lump. For some it is that 'not quite right feeling' which persists and persists. For some it is an unexpected illness and in a form which causes the thought 'I am quite ill'.

Thereafter a variety of things and events may take place, differing from person to person. In my case, my doctor referred me to a consultant and after the appointment I was sent for tests, scans and finally a skeletal X-ray.

To gaze at a screen and watch the slow assembly of one's bones is to be aware of a pre-archeological find and real mortality. By this time I was informed my symptoms were serious.

How did I adjust to this? From early years I have accepted my existence, my life, was as a created being. I was dependent upon a creator. Not just the historical flesh and blood fact of my loving conception and birth from my parents - that was true - but that every moment of my life I was and am dependent upon my Creator, God.

In the same way, I believed God sent his only son, Jesus, to die on the cross to redeem me from my sins. As a created being, as a sinner this is both an awesome thought and a comfort.

But why me? It may be that in a short while such difficult questions will be answered in full!

When the consultant confirmed that as a result of cancer of the prostate the cancer had spread to my bones, his comment was stark: 'Experience suggests from a few weeks or possibly a few years is the best that can be said.'

So here I was, God was giving me time to prepare for my death - an awesome and a comforting thought! The further advice I received suggested - no matter how long treatment prolongs my life - there will be much pain to be endured before I am to face the last three great events: death, judgement and the hereafter.

In my journeys in the Holy Land I have had the privilege of kneeling at the stone where Jesus underwent his agony in the Garden of Gethsemane. Shortly I shall have to share a small part of that agony.

But at that moment I had to face earthly reality - of sharing my information with the person with whom I have loved and been loved in a wonderful harmony for more than forty years: my Angela. There was need for much loving support, for much prayer for courage and then a little later we had to share this with our sons and their wives.

The information regarding my illness spread, and out of the ripple there grew a warm caring wave of prayer which enveloped Angela and myself. We were and are supported on the warp and the weft of a huge prayer network.

The effect was to increase our own prayers. The surfacing of emotional feelings, the periods of acute pain, the lack of energy, this roller coaster ride of life clearly focused us on the needs of others who are also suffering, the needs of their family and friends, then widening to concern for the nurses and the doctors who care for us. The Lord knows the list grows daily.

I know that our God is a God of infinite love, so for myself and others I pray that God will grant us a positive attitude and the ability to keep praying to the time when he decided we are to see his face in reality.